What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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