I puked a lego.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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