yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
