And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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