yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
