Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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