Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
