Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
