I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
this is an emotional support booty call
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize