I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
