They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
