So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
