Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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