So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
