i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
