I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
