She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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