i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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