You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
