His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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