Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
