he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
