Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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