I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
