I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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