sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
