ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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