Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
