I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize