I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
God I need to hump something, right now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
