I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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