He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize