Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
