You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
