We're facebook friends in real life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
