so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
