We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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