I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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