okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
