Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
so much tequila, so little girl.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
