awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
