Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
