so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
