i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
