oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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