you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
