So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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