Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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