She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
