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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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