Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Someone signed my nipple.
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