My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I touched a dick in church today
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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