Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
