Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
