did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
