Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
