Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
