this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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