Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize