Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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